Uncle Johnâs Triumphant 20th Anniversary Bathroom Reader by Bathroom Readers’ Institute
Author:Bathroom Readers’ Institute
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bathroom Readers’ Press
Published: 2013-02-20T20:18:27+00:00
SHOT HIMSELF IN THE...
How can someone accidentally getting shot be funny? Well, according to Mel Brooks, âTragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into a sewer and die.â
LEG
Anna Herrera-Gomez of Oklahoma City was at a shooting range in 2006 when a hot shell casing from the 9-millimeter pistol she was shooting fell down the front of her shirt. She jumped, grabbed her shirt, and accidentally shot herself in the leg. According to the police report, she suffered only a minor wound.
...GROIN
In 2004 a man in Vancouver, British Columbia, was waving a .357 Magnum revolver around during an argument regarding, according to news reports, a âlove triangle.â At some point the man shoved the gun into his pants and accidentally shot himself in the groin. The two other members of the triangle brought the man to the hospital, where he was treated, released, and arrested.
...STOMACH
A 16-year-old boy in Lake Worth, Florida, found a live .45-caliber cartridge in his back yard in December 2005. For reasons unknownâperhaps he was just curious about how a shell firesâhe decided to pound on it with a hammer. He found out: The pounding triggered it to fire, and the bullet ended up in the boyâs abdomen. He was treated at a local medical center and, fortunately, wasnât badly injured.
...BUTT
In August 2004, a man on trial for assaulting a police officer escaped from the Bristow, Oklahoma, courthouse. A huge manhunt ensued, prompting local resident Drew Patterson to decide heâd better protect himself. So he grabbed his .22-caliber pistol, stuck it in his waistband...and shot himself in the buttocks. Then, he later told reporters, he went to his parentsâ home and said, âMom, I did something bad.â He was treated at a local hospital and released, saying it was âthe most embarrassing moment of my life.â
The 21 smallest U.S. states, combined, are still smaller than Alaska.
...ARM
In 2006 a Wellington, New Zealand, police officer was called to the scene of a domestic dispute. When the man of the house started making threatening statements, the officer pulled out a stun gun...and accidentally shot himself in the arm with the 50,000-volt weapon. The officer went on to accidentally shoot the manâs 16-year-old son and then his 21-year-old daughter, after which the suspect, who hadnât been shot, surrendered.
...KEYS
A 50-year-old Iranian man accidentally shot himself in the leg in 1988. He recovered and hadnât thought about it for years...until the leg suddenly started to hurt in 2004. When the pain became excruciating he went to the hospital, where X-rays showed that he had a set of keys imbedded in his leg. Doctors who treated the man told reporters that the bullet from the 1988 accident had apparently struck keys in the manâs pocket and propelled them into his thigh. The bullet had been removedâbut the keys were left behind. The manâs pain went away when the keys were finally removed.
...CALF (AND GROIN)
In 2006 a 23-year-old Wichita, Kansas, man attempted to kidnap a teenager in what the police report identified as a dispute over stereo speakers.
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